in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
