Walk of Shame. In a state park.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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