Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Randomize
