the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
