did you get engaged???
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Randomize
