His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
