My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
