it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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