I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
