David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
