We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
