a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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