You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
