I'd wear matching sweaters with you
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
