so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
