i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
