He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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