Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
