I didn't shave. On purpose
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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