Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
