i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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