38 yer olds are good kisserssss
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
