Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
