white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
