Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
