well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
you will always have a special place in my vag
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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