She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
