My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize