My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
