when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
