I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
