yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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