So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
