I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize