Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
