You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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