you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Randomize
