He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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