I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
