Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize