elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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