i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Randomize
