Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
