umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
