Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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