he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
