Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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