hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Randomize