READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
