okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
