the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
