I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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