i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
