For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
