Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
