census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Randomize