No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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