Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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