I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
