Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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